Happy 2014 to you and yours. Hopefully your resolutions are starting to get off the ground and you don't lose sight of the goals you want them to produce for your new year.
For a few months now I have been asking myself what goals do I have for myself personally. My greatest roles in life are being a mother, family member, friend and employee. So what should I be aiming towards to grow in myself so that I may fulfill those other responsibilities that I am thankful for and treasure immensely. Many times I found myself going back to this scripture:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-4
This is a verse I hear. ALOT. And, until recently, I questioned it thinking, "God I am suffering. I am hurting. I am bitter and I feel I am barely making it at times. Where are you? Where were you on July 4? How can I count this all as joy?" After months of wrestling with these thoughts I slowly realized I was not looking at the bigger, fuller picture. I was only looking at the current feelings I was facing. And, to be honest, I don't blame myself for that. The loss of anyone is devastating. I don't think it matters if it was expected or if it was as sudden as Noah's death was. And the loss of a child is something we, as parents, never anticipate when we welcomed that child into the world. It seems backwards. It is backwards.
So…to "count it all joy" almost seemed laughable.
Until I envision the perfect, end result.
This life is just a trial and I pray daily that when I look back from eternity this suffering will have only seemed like the blink of an eye.
I don't know what everyone's situation is. I don't know what you face daily. I know this will be a daily battle for me and won't be easy. To write all this up on a page seems so tidy and neat. I have so much bitterness I have to let go of and so much forgiveness to give to someone who shows no remorse before I can achieve that perfect end result. It will be a work in progress for me personally and one I will deal with daily.
Life is full of trials but we can not give up and I can not give up on working towards the end result. In the words of my beloved pastor we have to 'keep on keeping on.' And that is perseverance. That is steadfastness. That is faith. Faith in ourselves, faith in others and faith in a future where we will have a perfect end result.
1 Peter 1:6-7, "There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." Keep the faith...stand strong...and remember that "we win in the end!"
ReplyDeleteYou are strong, and no one could fault you for having to accept what you had to accept on July 4th.
ReplyDeleteYou and the Anderson's are in our thoughts so very often! It can be an extremely difficult process putting thoughts to words, but your sharing is a true inspiration!
ReplyDeleteIt was just an ordinary ride home from work a few weeks before Christmas that I began to think of how exciting it was to learn through your postings the connection you made with the Anderson's this past year. This was a first silent prayer of mine prior to even knowing the names of the families involved that this would someday happen! It did and I am so excited for that! I also became extremely overjoyed this past year after seeing a simple picture of a boy flying a kite on a Florida beach that was posted in March on the Anderson's page for Brayden and Alexandra. I happened to be on that same beach that day shortly after learning of another family that was suffering through a tragedy of loosing their 10 year old son to a tragic airport sign accident. The kite picture for me will be a forever lasting impression of what it means when they say faith can move mountains!
Sometimes, it is a song that can sum it up even best on how you feel when you struggle to find the words. That is what happened on this ride home from work for me when I heard the song for the very first time by Kutless, "That's What Faith Can Do". It was the icing on the cake to describe exactly how I was feeling!
I continue to wish you the very best in your year ahead! As the song says, there are so many silver linings throughout life, sometimes we may never even know the impact that one can have on us in a lifetime, but I am grateful for the impact that you are making on so many!