"Living without faith is like driving in a fog."
Facebook Post from September 2012
This morning as I was driving Haleigh Raye to school I was frustrated because my windows were so foggy I couldn't see. I literally had to pull over and wait for the fog to clear (and call my earthly father for help because it was once his car.) As we are waiting Haleigh Raye starts to notice handprints and drawings appear through the fog in the backseat windows. (You know the ones you are always telling your kids or little ones in the car NOT to do.) For a moment I couldn't look at them. I was reminded of all the days I said, "Noah stop writing on my windows." Well with tears in my eyes I did raise my head up and look at them. What a blessing to me they were this morning when I CHOSE TO SEE. Noah's drawings and initials were coming through even in the fog. What a parallel this is to my own life. I move through my hours as if I am in a fog and little things will bring me out and keep me level for a while and then off I go again. When I try to make it on my own and rely on my own strength I see the negative or what I didn't do and everything seems foggy but then I call on my heavenly Father and CHOOSE TO SEE the handprints and drawings in my life it becomes apparent all that God has blessed me with...even in the fog.
...and the wonderful thing is that even when we think we are walking alone in the fog, we are not. He is beside is. And He always understands.
ReplyDeleteNoah may not be writing on windows anymore, but he sure is writing on millions of hearts! Mine included :)
xo, misha
Beautiful! Very moving!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I am so glad you have decided to put your thoughts to paper. We all suffer losses whether our own or others. You have shown us a way to make it easier to talk to each other. Last week a friend of mine lost her son in a car wreck. I knew I needed to go and comfort her as well as face this loss myself. Although I find it difficult to go outside my comfort zone, I was so glad I went. I admit that I do not handle loss very well. And to ignore someone elses pain is not helping either of us.
ReplyDeleteLast summer I was cradling my newborn grandson when you lost Noah. It made it difficult to celebrate our joy knowing how profound your loss was. I look forward to hearing from you on this blog. We can all learn from each other. Thank you for taking the time to share.